theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
