Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
