he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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