It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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