now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
