Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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