worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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