I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
