How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
