oh god the rape fog is back!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize