Pants 0. Shit 1.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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