why didn't you poke me back
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
