it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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