Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
