Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
