dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
