wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
