How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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