hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
