:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
