my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I did not marry a roomba.
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