I want to make a zoo with you.
...so i touched it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize