we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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