All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
A bitchslap is in order.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
