It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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