I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize