I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
