I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
