Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
