Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
