He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
