I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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