Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just invented taco cereal.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
