Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
