I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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