Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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