Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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