you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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