So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
