I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
