When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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