I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
