Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
