Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize