I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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