you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
is that a dick in a sweater?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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