so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
