Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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