You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize