You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Boobs are out for the taking
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
