i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
