Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
