I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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