And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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