That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My vagina just recognized that song.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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