You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
