She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
no more duck duck goose at the bar
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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