smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
