I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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