his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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