he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
