I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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