If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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