the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
