i think i have herpe
just one?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
