; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
