Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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