Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
