That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
