Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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