okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
