is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Quick, to the slutcave!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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