Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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