A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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