he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
