omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
