Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
