also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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